"The Larsson Thread" [CHRISTMAS SPECIAL]

[Seagull]

On the 11178th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me:

A rather large turkey stuffed with 500 grams of Colombian pure and a dead pigeon.

But instead of hearing reindeer dropping hit the ground with an almighty thud, all I heard was Santa Claus choking on his glandular fever pills. Whence sitting upon his lap in Greenland I heard Bing Cosby say listen to my Linkin Park cover of Auld Lang Syne. Division 3 can kiss my arse, we're in division 2 at last.

Satan's Grotto indeed.

Happy pissmas and enjoy zombie day.

[Horsey]

One Christmas eve eve eve, a young old man had forgotten to get his presents for sammy the hedgehog, the stuffed right leg man and big ron. the shops were all shut cos he nicked stuff from them so he had nowhere to piss in.

So she accidentally cut off her arms and sent them to the hedgehog, who was well pleased.

And it cut off it's legs and sent them to the leg guys, which was takin the urine really.

And so she said, **** big ron, and she kicked his Ar$e without any arms or legs.

Happy Easter.

[snakedavetheblade]

doesnt it feel like christmas,doesnt it feel like christmas.........WELL ****IN DOES IT!!
That Turkey best cook a good meal for me or ill ave to sent it out side wot peck for rice in poo.

Wot the hell is up with sayin "chickens love juice makes good stuffin"eh eh EH!!

Merry happy super great New monday of the month

[Seagull]

Please explain what the following are:

Figgy Pudding
Myrrh
Christmas

[Horsey]

Figgy Pudding is what you get when you spank santa and his reindeer

Myrrh is the noise made by a drunk horse before it throws up

Christmas is a festival of all things with a price tag

(Note: 100000 points for spotting a serious point made in the Larson thread)

Ooooh ban me!

[Swansea Til I die]

Woooooooooooooo Rudolph ho ho ho

Turkey! Crackers!!! **** me its the elves!!! so u think ur big and hard do u! with ur pointy hats, and green jumpers!!!

Lump of coal for u my boy!

Modern age? politically correct? ok! What would u ur daddy do if he catches daddy shafting santa. ah wah hoo ah wah hoo

Santa askin kids 2 hold his sack??? :eek:

Ho ho ho many christmas dinners to all and afterwards to all a good sh*te!

[James_F]

Its
a
cracker

[Michael Shilliday]

so
it
is

[Jamesie]

I was walkin thru the woods one night
talkin quite a load of *****
when i got a sudden fright
it was almost christmas day

i do not care for jesus christ
he means as much as three blind mice
he's the only god i know who's priced
so what does christmas mean?

a man in red who is fat and white
creeps down your chimney to give respite
to the horrors you have to fight
but whats in it for him?

**** all this it's a load of piss
if you forget all else remember this
if you get me nowt for christmiss
i will kick your ass :coolpimp:

boxing day ain't what it sounds
you look at what you were bought with hard earned pounds
things you missed are often founds
bugger this i'm goin to the beach for a walk along the seashore and build a fort out of sand, alright? Look it's a family tradition have you got a problem with that?

[red army]

Glucuronolactone

[Horsey]

Note : May contain polybrolyhollyunsaturatedlysaturated elves

[James_F]

Well just so long as it dont contain any Turnblimpswellymen then we are ok. If not we've got a bit of a problem.

[Seagull]

Money's short
Times are hard
So here's your f*cking Christmas card

[Horsey]

Hey! This christmas card tastes like it has polybrolyhollyunsaturatedlysaturated elves and also a dashing of Turnblimpswellymen.

I think I'm coming out in a rash.

[James_F]

I thought about going out in a rash too, but i chose a shirt instead.

[Jamesie]

he died the way he lived: in incredible pain after being cut open by a pygmy

[Seagull]

Ah know ah know ah know this much is troooo-ooooo

[Sulliano]

Socks and hankeys, pretty good for w@nkeys

[Ji]

So the elephant said to the reindeer "quack woof" and the reindeer said to the three-toed sloth "neigh bok-bok" and the monkey fell out of his bunk and said goodbye to the north pole because mary christmas kept chasing the easter bunny with a candy cane and he'd had enough!

thankfully, though the tooth fairies caught up with the runaway hat and brought it under control by bribing it with fairy cakes and mince pies.

[Seagull]

We 3 kings of Leicester Square, selling socks for 2 pound a pair