Joke to rival Gers perhaps?

[SouthEastClaret]

A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a fish under his arm.
"Do you have any fishcakes?" he asks.
"Yes, of course," says the fish shop owner.
"Great," replies the man, nodding at the fish under his arm," It's his birthday.

[Chelsea Blue]

:no:

:coat

[No1Platoon]

Heard this one a few times

[Martinho]

Shocker! :laugh:

[SWFC 1988]

A local man from Barnsley notices his cat isn't feeling well; after putting up with it for a week he decides to take the cat to the vets. The Barnsley man says 'it's me cat there's summat up wi it', the vet replies 'urm. Is it a tom?', the man looks puzzled and says 'no i brought it wi me'

I'm here all week.

[Chelsea Blue]

:notfunny

[SWFC 1988]

:notfunny

You love it really :coolpimp:

[bcfc4life]

A local man from Barnsley notices his cat isn't feeling well; after putting up with it for a week he decides to take the cat to the vets. The Barnsley man says 'it's me cat there's summat up wi it', the vet replies 'urm. Is it a tom?', the man looks puzzled and says 'no i brought it wi me'

I'm here all week.

ohh dear :(

[gers_fan1]

A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a fish under his arm.
"Do you have any fishcakes?" he asks.
"Yes, of course," says the fish shop owner.
"Great," replies the man, nodding at the fish under his arm," It's his birthday.

C'Mon :laugh:

[canon]

A man walks into a bar and with an upset tone orders 6 double Vodkas the barman asks the man if hes had a bad day to which the man replies "yes, i've just fount out my oldest son is gay!". The next day the same guy goes into the same bar and in an angry yet really upset tone of voice orders another 6 double Vodkas "another bad day?" asks the bar man "Yes, I've just fount out my youngest son is gay aswell". On the third day the same guy goes into the same bar and in a distraught tone orders a third set of 6 double Vodkas "does anyone in your family like women?" asks the barman the men bursts into tears and says "Yes my Wife does"

[Shrews07]

Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?


A: There is a stamp on it.



:laugh::laugh:

[gers_fan1]

LMAO :laugh: :laugh:

[James_F]

A local man from Barnsley notices his cat isn't feeling well; after putting up with it for a week he decides to take the cat to the vets. The Barnsley man says 'it's me cat there's summat up wi it', the vet replies 'urm. Is it a tom?', the man looks puzzled and says 'no i brought it wi me'

I'm here all week.

:laugh::laugh: excellent

[Chelsea Blue]

A man walks into a bar and with an upset tone orders 6 double Vodkas the barman asks the man if hes had a bad day to which the man replies "yes, i've just fount out my oldest son is gay!". The next day the same guy goes into the same bar and in an angry yet really upset tone of voice orders another 6 double Vodkas "another bad day?" asks the bar man "Yes, I've just fount out my youngest son is gay aswell". On the third day the same guy goes into the same bar and in a distraught tone orders a third set of 6 double Vodkas "does anyone in your family like women?" asks the barman the men bursts into tears and says "Yes my Wife does"

I like that :)

[laticfan1]

I like that :)

He who laughs last, thinks slowest:thumb

[PsychicPscouse]

Scouser walks down to the docks looking for work. After a couple of ships the third captain says, 'OK, take this application home and fill it out.' Three days later the Scouser brings it back and the captain says, 'OK, fine, go below and talk to the first mate.' Just then a Manc walks up and asks for a job, and the captain sends him below as well. Scouser sees this and says, 'Scuse me sir, but I had to fill out forms and you hired him on the spot. What's with that?'
'Oh,' says the captain, 'I liked him, he's got an honest face...':hmmm

Two days later they're at sea. The Scouser is up in the crow's next and the Manc is swabbing the deck. Just then a rogue wave washes the Manc over the side. Scouser sees this and goes to see the captain...

'Captain?' 'Yes?' 'Remember that Manc you hired, the one with the honest face?' 'Yes?' 'Well, I'm here to tell you he just f*cked off with your mop...'

:coat

[SouthEastClaret]

The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town.

One day he was walking down the High Street and he noticed a young lady of his
congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The reverend wasn't happy.
He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the woman.

"Mrs Fitzgerald," he said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Sure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.

When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realised that she'd had far too much to drink and grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor.

After rolling around for a few moments, the reverend wound up on top of Mrs Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist. The pub landlord looked over and said, "Oi Mate, we won't have any of that carrying on in this pub."

The reverend looked up at the landlord and said, "But you don't understand,
I'm Pastor Flapps."
The landlord nodded and said, "Oh well, if you're that far in, you might as well finish."

[Trev_GFC]

The two above :laugh: :laugh:

[mattledud]

Scouser walks down to the docks looking for work.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: stop it man, you're killing me :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[Shrews07]

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time - I think I've forgotten this before.

:laugh::laugh: