View Full Version : A scouser walks into a job centre..
TractorBoy
28th November 2007, 09:44
and tells the assistant he is desperate for a job...the assistant replies "That's fortunate, we have just got one for a driver for a multi-millionaire to look after his twin nympho daughters, on overseas trips with a salary of 200k a year".
The scouser says "You're bullsh1tting me..", assistant says, "you f*ckin started it"!!
Sorry scousers :hide
taffy
28th November 2007, 09:59
:laugh:
scousers are supposed to be renowned for their sense of humour or so we are told so lets see.
pufcstef
28th November 2007, 10:00
:laugh:
TractorBoy
28th November 2007, 11:25
A man suspected his wife of having an affair, so he hired Chinese detective Chen Lee to report any activity while he was away. Days later he received this report.....
Most Honourable Sir. You leave house, I watch.
He and she leave house, I follow.
He and she go in hotel, I climb tree, I look in window.
He kiss she, she kiss he. He strip she, she strip he.
He play with she, she play with he.
I play with me, I fall off tree,
I no see. No fee. Chen Lee.
Ollie*CUFC
28th November 2007, 11:48
:laugh:
scousers are supposed to be renowned for their sense of humour or so we are told so lets see.
Dunno about all these scouser jokes. On the one hand half of them are funny but on the other if I was a scouser I'd be well bored of them. There's only so many times you can laugh at the same joke! That one was quite funny though.
TractorBoy
28th November 2007, 17:57
A bloke is making love to his new girlfriend when he spots a photo of another fella on her dressing table
" Who is that fella" he asks. " Is it your ex"? No came the reply. "Then is it your brother or your father, or is it a cousin"? he asks.
"No" she says, "that were me 6 months ago" :laugh:
Martinho
28th November 2007, 18:00
How many joke threads do we need? :confused
TractorBoy
28th November 2007, 18:02
Well all the others keep slipping off the radar and I can't be bothered finding em. :wave:
ShrewsburysGurl
28th November 2007, 18:15
TB...I no longer wish to be your step-CCE student.
Samoth
28th November 2007, 18:18
Awful.. but amusing :laugh:
TractorBoy
28th November 2007, 18:35
TB...I no longer wish to be your step-CCE student.
:cry::cry::cry:
powerage
29th November 2007, 01:01
A bloke is licking out a prostitute.
As he's working away he feels something in his mouth. It's a carrot. He stops for a moment but then decides to carry on thinking nothing of it. Moments later he again feels something in his mouth, this time it's a pea.
Curiously he asks her "are you sick love?"
She replies "no, but I think my last customer was"
piratescotty
29th November 2007, 16:03
A man suspected his wife of having an affair, so he hired Chinese detective Chen Lee to report any activity while he was away. Days later he received this report.....
Most Honourable Sir. You leave house, I watch.
He and she leave house, I follow.
He and she go in hotel, I climb tree, I look in window.
He kiss she, she kiss he. He strip she, she strip he.
He play with she, she play with he.
I play with me, I fall off tree,
I no see. No fee. Chen Lee.
That made me laugh.:laugh:
TOM OAFC
29th November 2007, 17:02
A bloke is making love to his new girlfriend when he spots a photo of another fella on her dressing table
" Who is that fella" he asks. " Is it your ex"? No came the reply. "Then is it your brother or your father, or is it a cousin"? he asks.
"No" she says, "that were me 6 months ago" :laugh:
HA HA superb Tractor boy.
Not_Smog
29th November 2007, 17:06
Tom? That joke was shyte?
TOM OAFC
29th November 2007, 17:30
I thought it was funny.
piratescotty
29th November 2007, 17:31
I thought it was funny.
Shite.
TOM OAFC
29th November 2007, 17:37
Ah well looks like we need to find another joke here goes
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?"
The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear,
"It ****ing hurts doesn't it!"
gers_fan1
30th November 2007, 12:47
A man suspected his wife of having an affair, so he hired Chinese detective Chen Lee to report any activity while he was away. Days later he received this report.....
Most Honourable Sir. You leave house, I watch.
He and she leave house, I follow.
He and she go in hotel, I climb tree, I look in window.
He kiss she, she kiss he. He strip she, she strip he.
He play with she, she play with he.
I play with me, I fall off tree,
I no see. No fee. Chen Lee.
One of the best :laugh: :laugh: