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culby
17th August 2001, 06:55
my favourite is a classic-I may not be fred flintstone but im sure i could make your bedrock <IMG SRC="smilies/smokin.gif" border="0">

James_F
17th August 2001, 07:03
Hey lady, let me slay you with my sword of luurve.

Never works, ever.

geeza
17th August 2001, 14:53
Is that a ladder in your tights?....or just the stairway to heaven?! <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0">

There's 260 bones in your body, fancy another? <IMG SRC="smilies/wink.gif" border="0">

Wanna come back to my house and do some Maths? You can subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we'll multiply. <IMG SRC="smilies/smokin.gif" border="0">

some true classics.............

PLAY UP POMPEY! <IMG SRC="smilies/rocketwhore.gif" border="0">

Fever Pitch
17th August 2001, 21:26
"your arse is like a basketball, mind if I dribble all over it?"

Or some guy at our school tried out this legend:

"I like your tits, can I touch them!" <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0">

Flyso
17th August 2001, 21:32
Right love....my face is leaving in 10 minutes and I want you to be on it!! <IMG SRC="smilies/liplick.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0">

Big Dave 2K
17th August 2001, 22:49
try some of these, never gonna work, but who gives a flying ****!

'I've got the body of a chippendale,.... he's buried under the patio at home.'

'Is your last name Gillette, because your best a man can get!'

'If I said you had a beautiful body would you swallow ten inches? '

alan86
18th August 2001, 02:04
Or there is always :

"Nice legs - what time do they open?"

or

Ask a girls "Do you fancy a pizza and a 5hag?" after she slaps you "hey babe you dont like pizza?"

or

"You wanna get jiggy with Mr Biggy?"

or

"Is that a mirror in your pocket - cos I can see me in your pants!"

A guaranteed screw or a slap.

Fever Pitch
18th August 2001, 03:06
lol never say "mount willy's about to erupt baby"

<IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> @ The stupid **** who said that <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0">

Cjm24
18th August 2001, 04:18
LOL!I scored last night and was on the sofa with this chick and I said,"Things are getting a bit hot here shall we go upstairs?"
LMAO@the direct approach!It worked! <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/smokin.gif" border="0">

snakedavetheblade
18th August 2001, 05:15
U da man CJ,go cj go cj go cj go cj.....

Cjm24
18th August 2001, 05:25
LOL! <IMG SRC="smilies/smokin.gif" border="0">

comerford11
18th August 2001, 05:58
this i s a true story from my holiday i just got back from

i started chatting to a girl were were both a little tipsy

she said "i've noticed u around"
i said " i find u pretty atractive"
after a short pause we both said
" will u go to bed with me?"

and sure enough it worked

Cjm24
18th August 2001, 06:05
LOL I remember that song,hey I might try those lines next time with some tart. <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0">

DrownedRaccoon
18th August 2001, 06:05
there's always the classic 'get your coat love, you've pulled'

UTC
18th August 2001, 21:38
1. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.

2. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.

3. Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes?

4. You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

5. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?

6. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

7. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

8. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

9. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

10. My name's.............. That's so you know what to scream.

11. My name's.............. but you can call me "lover."

12. Nice shoes. Wanna ****?

13. Can I flirt with you?

14. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

15. [Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?": Checking to see if you were made in heaven. OR: Checking to see if you're the right size.

16. All those curves, and me with no brakes.

17. If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

18. **** me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?

19. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.

20. [Grab her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

21. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

22. Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.

23. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

24. How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

25. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

26. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

27. So... How am I doin'?

28. How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?

29. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.

30. Hey, that's a nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?

31. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

32. I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away.

33. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?

34. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.

35. [Regard her outfit] Gee, that's becoming on you, if you wore me, I'd be coming on you too.

36. Get your coat love, you've pulled.

37. Put your crash helmet on, you're going through the head board.

38. What do you want for breakfast?

39. How would you like to spend the night looking at my bedroom ceiling?

40. Let me show you the way to heaven.

41. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

42. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

43. I'm easy. Are you?

44. (Use index finger to call someone over then say)If I made you come this fast with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

45. Is that a ladder in your tights? Or is it the stairway to heaven?

46. What time do you have to be back in heaven?

47. I would crawl naked in the cold rain, on broken glass, just to hear you speak over the telephone!

48. I think you're the light at the end of my tunnel.

49. I didn't believe in angels until I meet you!

50. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

51. I bet you're tired of hearing chat up lines, when words can't be compared or express the true nature of your beauty!

52. When I look into your eyes I see the Moon and the stars.

53. Your eyes are like spanners..... every time you look at me my nuts tighten

54. I may not be the best looking man in here, but I'm the only one talking to you

55. You are so hot, its girls like you that are the real reason for global warming

56. I may not be Fred Flintstone but I will certainly make your bed rock

57. Hi, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilized?

58. Hi, my name's Richard, will you be my Pretty Woman?

59. I'm a stud muffin baby, why don't you take a bite?

60. Have you ever been to the moon ? no ! sit on my rocket and i will take you there

61. If its cash your after drop your drawers and the moneys yours

62. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

63. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

64. I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

65. Was you father a cement mixer? Because you sure make me hard.

66. Do you sleep on your stomach? Do you mind if I do?

67. Why are you going, when you could be coming?

68. If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard.

69. Can you fix watches? Then put 2 hands on that!

70. Sit on my face and I`ll guess your weight.

71. Can I tickle your belly button? From the inside.

72. Do you like fruit? Suck this its a ****ing peach.

73. Break a bit of ice on the bar and say "Now I've broken the ice can i buy you a drink?"

74. Im like Domino's Pizza, if you dont come in 30 minutes the next one is free...

75. Fancy a Pizza and a shag? NO! Why, don't you like Pizza?

76. To a ugly woman...''I never look at the mantle piece when I'm poking the fire''

77. Want to see my boner?

78. My hands are cold, can i put them in your bra to warm up?

79. Here, have another bottle of wine.

80. Hey baby,wanna get lucky?

81. Over here, now, bitch

82. Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.

83. Hey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me up.

84. If your left is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays?

85. You're like a Pringles. Once I pop you, I can't stop you!

86. I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your
belly-button.

87. If you were a car door I would slam you all night long

88. Baby, your so fine, I want to pour milk all over you and make you part of my complete breakfast.

89. How about you sit on my lap and we'll straighten things out

90. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

91. You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.

92. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.

93. Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?

94. Your daddy must of been a drug dealer 'cause you're dope.

95. I'd look good on you.

96. When does your centerfold come out.

97. So do ya wanna see something really swell?

98. I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.

99. Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.

100. Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?

101. Are those pants from outer space? Cause that ass is out of this world.

102. You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.

103. Is your dad a terrorist? Because your the bomb!

104. Are you a model?

105. How's yer fanny for cracking walnuts?

106. Excuse me but do you believe in pre-marital sex? No. Well I'm married, lets ****!

107. Excuse me, you have the whitest teeth I've ever cum across.

108. I sure like the cover of your book, can I check out the pages in between.

109. Do you need a gardener? (no) can i trim your bush anyways?

110. Do you want to **** or do I owe you an apology?

111. Baby, you look finer than a new set of snow tires! Do you mind if I jurkoff on your tits?

112. Do you know the differance between a Big Mac and a blow job? no, what are you doing for lunch tomorrow?

113. Would you like to dance? [she says "no"] No, you must have misunderstood me, I SAID, you look fat in those pants!

114. Do you spit or swallow?

115. Lets stand toe to toe and get something straight between us!

116. That dress is very becoming on you, but if I was on you, I'd be cumming to!

117. Wanna sit down? Here let me clear off a spot for you to sit. (while wiping of your mouth with your hand)

118. Let's play war, i'll lay down and you blow the **** out of me!

119. "Have you ever been kissed on the navel? Yes! From the inside?

120. Nice tit's what's your name?

121. Hi there, do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise cocks!!

122. Hi, my name is (your name), and you can tell me yours when you catch your breath.

123. Excuse me, I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way to your heart.

124. Do you like jewellry? Suck this, it's a gem!

125. Can you drive? Well, back onto this (pointing to dick)

126. Do you like dried biscuits? Eat this it's a cracker!

127. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

128. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?

129. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

130. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

131. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

132. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

133. Are those real?

134. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

135. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.

136. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

137. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

138. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

139. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

140. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

141. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

142. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

143. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap hotel room.


I think thats more or less all of them <IMG SRC="smilies/wink.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0">

culby
19th August 2001, 00:39
holy crap! i asked for the best, not a book of them!

TrueBhoy
19th August 2001, 00:40
bit of a stud are you UTC? <IMG SRC="smilies/wink.gif" border="0">

Anyway, here is one:

You lok at the girl and wave her over using you index finger. If she walks up to you, say "If i made you come that fast with 1 finger, just think what i could do with a whole hand!" <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0">

super white
19th August 2001, 01:05
wow! so how many of them work UTC? lol

i actually like quite a few of them - theyre quite funny!

UTC
19th August 2001, 09:41
Originally posted by super white:
[QB]wow! so how many of them work UTC? QB]

number 12 <IMG SRC="smilies/wink.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/cool.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">

snakedavetheblade
19th August 2001, 20:39
ere are sum more soz if allready done ive copyed an pasted from a site for ya all

1. Hey baby, why don't you sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that
POPS up!!!
2. (motion for girl to come here with one finger), ''If I can make you come with
this finger, imagine what I could do with all five!''
3. Nice shoes, wanna ****?
4. If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
5. **** me if I'm wrong....but haven't we met before?
6. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
7. I wanna use your thighs as earmuffs.
8. Are those real?
9. I may not be Fred Flintstone but I sure can make your bedrock.
10. (offer guy/girl a screw) wanna screw?
11. Ya know, that shirt is very becoming on you......of course, if I was on you, I'd
be cumming too.
12. The word of the day is LEGS, so let's go to my house and spread the word.
13. The only place I want to go is south of the border.
14. Hey you want to know what I heard about you? **** me and I'll tell you.
15. Why don't you come over and we can do math in the bed; add the bed,
subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and I'll multiply.
16. What's a nice girl like you doing on a face like this?
17. Nice dress, can I talk you out of it?
18. Mmmmmmm, you bring new meaning to the word ''edible''
19. So, do you want to see something really swell?
20. Excuse me but is your last name ''Gillette''......cause you are the best a man
can get!
21. Hey baby.....can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
22. My shirt's chaffing me.....
23. Excuse me miss, do you give head to strangers? (No) Well, then, allow me to
introduce myself.
24. They call me Milk, because I do your body good.
25. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
26. Hey baby, wanna wrestle.
27. Hi, do you want to have children? (assuming the answer is no) Ok then, can
we just practice?
28. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
29. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you
been drinking?
30. They say the best things in life are free....they lied(but I do accept American
Express)
31. This Valentines Day, I really want you to know how I feel.....So you better
use both hands.
32. You can feel the magic between us......No, lower!
33. You're on my mind this Valentine's Day.....I'd prefer you on my bed.
34. This Valentine's Day I want you to know that I'm head-over-heels for
you....and I know some other positions too.
35. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even
farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
36. You have 250 bones in your body, want another?
37. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on
earth, I bet we could do it in public.
38. Hey baby, can i tickle your belly from the inside?
39. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
40. Girl, if you were a porch I'd take out all the nails and screw ya.
41. Yo baby, I bust more nuts than a squirrel.

Black_and_White_Bear
20th August 2001, 03:00
Well, how about :-

Next time you go to the loo....don't pull your knickers up, you won't need them

<IMG SRC="smilies/wink.gif" border="0">

<IMG SRC="smilies/cute.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/rocketwhore.gif" border="0">