Answering Machine Messages

[Kewell]

Here's five good ones you can use. I'm sure you've got plenty more so feel free to add some.

1./ Hi, I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

2./ Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

3./ Hi, this is John. If you are the phone company, I've already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4./ Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

5./ (Sexy female voice with heavy panting).. Hi, you've reached 555-3456. John is in... (sigh) Oh no, he's out...(aah) Yes, he's in again...(ooh) No he's out...(aah) Why don't you just leave your name and number and he'll call you as soon as he...comes.

[Marlin]

When I was living in Fulham, our phone number was one different from the curry house, so naturally the phone never stopped ringing. We solved this problem by my flatmate affecting a bangladeshi accent whilst playing dodgy musak in the background, apologising that noone could come to the phone, but please leave your order and we'll deliver it asap.

After a few week of no delivered curries, and angry messages, the owners cottoned on and remarkably, the curryhouse number changed...

[Kewell]

Top job mate. A good friend of mine gets the same problem with a local pizza store. Might have to tell him to do the same.

[slimref]

i used to put my phone on divert to a mastubation helpline number i got out of Dear Deidre...

I had to change it after my grandad tried ringing and told my mum...

[LF_SW6]

:laugh:

Number three, might have to try that one.

[sosh]

Originally posted by Marlin
When I was living in Fulham, our phone number was one different from the curry house, so naturally the phone never stopped ringing. We solved this problem by my flatmate affecting a bangladeshi accent whilst playing dodgy musak in the background, apologising that noone could come to the phone, but please leave your order and we'll deliver it asap.

After a few week of no delivered curries, and angry messages, the owners cottoned on and remarkably, the curryhouse number changed...

:clap: :laugh: