V V Funny (and suitable for morons)

[Marlin]

Considering most of you were far too stupid to figure out my last sidesplittingly amusing thread, I thought I'd stick this up for you subnormal cavedwellers to giggle at.


Handy Dictionary to decipher Personals Ads


WOMEN'S ADS

40-ish..........................49
Adventurer.................Slept with all your friends
Athletic.......................No tits
Average looking........Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful.....................Pathologic al liar
Contagious Smile........Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated....................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure......On medication
Feminist......................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit.................Junkie
Friendship first.........Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun.............................Annoying
Gentle...................... Comatose
Good Listener......... Borderline Autistic
New-Age...................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned............Lights out,missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded............Desperate
Outgoing....................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate................Sloppy drunk
Poet...........................Depressiv e Schizophrenic
Professional...............Certified bitch
Redhead....................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque..............Grossly fat
Romantic....................Looks better by candle light
Social.............Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray

MEN'S ADS

40-ish................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic..............Watches a lot of sports on TV
Average looking.......Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated..............Will patronize the s*** out of you
Free Spirit........... Banging your sister
Friendship first......... As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun.....................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking..........Arrogant
Very good looking........Thick as 2 short planks
Honest...................Pathological Liar
Huggable.............. Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle....... Insecure mamma's boy
Mature................ Older than your father
Open-minded........Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not
interested
Poet.....................Wrote ex-girlfriend's no. in a phonebox
Sensitive...............Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive........Gay
Spiritual................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable...................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful.............Says "Excuse me" when he farts

[Vegas_33139]

Considering the actual numbers who understood the bollox you posted before, 99% of us must be thick as you say. So, for us morons, would you, with your obvious higher level of intelligence than us "subnormal cavedwellers", be kind enough to tell us WTF (...) is? :rolleyes:

[Marlin]

;)