Ants!

[Trev_GFC]

It's that time of the year again and the ants are invading our house:cry: :mad: Anybody else have problems with the little ...?

I've got red ants coming up in the kitchen where the floor meets the radiator pipes. I've got flying ants coming in through what looks like the seal for the windows and for the window doors (and these are quite new, too). They've probably come up in other places in the kitchen too. Suprisingly, none have come up yet in the other hotspots in previous years such as the corridor, by the boiler and in the living room.

All the spiders that we have: large, small, and the ones which are just smaller than taranchulas - yes, we've had them in our bedrooms before here - are helping me:laugh: . I've been hoovering the ants up and placing ant traps for the red ants. We've got nippon but the problem is to find EXACTLY where they come in from - which could include moving the washing machine:cry: .

Does anybody have this problem or know how to help me?:(

[Jagielka]

thats one of the problems of living in a caravan ;)

[Saltergate_guy]

have u ever been nice to any1 ever?

buy urself an anteater, or steal one from a zoo, then place it where u think there coming from

case solved

[StretfordEnd]

Get a sniffer ant to find where the little blighters are getting in, then lay a trail of ant attracting treacle over to next door . . .

[Jagielka]

where can i get one of these?

[StretfordEnd]

One of what ?

[Jagielka]

a sniffer ant? and for that matter ant attracting treacle?

[StretfordEnd]

I believe Boots the chemist can order you a sniffer ant, though how well trained it would be I wouldn't like to say, best bet is to train your own . . .

And all treacle attracts ants . . .

[Saltergate_guy]

i tried to do the above but my ant got its cover blown and was shot for treason

its not for the light hearted

i had a revolution on me hands after that

[StretfordEnd]

Originally posted by Saltergate_guy
i tried to do the above but my ant got its cover blown and was shot for treason

its not for the light hearted

i had a revolution on me hands after that

This is the kind of risk that a trained sniffer ant has to accept I'm afraid, though I can't help thinking maybe you thrust him into antdom before he was ready ?

[Jagielka]

an ant revolution can be nasty, all hell broke loose at my place when red flag waving ants started to liberate the hole in the skirting board as a workers state, eventually, after a brief and prolific arms race i manged to ger rid of them, using a can of lynx and a lighter. made a chuffin mess of my skirting board i can tell you now.

[Saltergate_guy]

mmm maybe, that was before i bought the anteater in now i hav no problems. RIP Sniffer Ant of Chesterfield. long live anteater of chesterfield.


ooh organic treacle is better, it seems to attract the most ants

[StretfordEnd]

I see what you're saying SG, but you now have an anteater to keep, and no ants for it to slurp, a dilemma indeed . . .

The advantage of the sniffer ant is that once he's winkled out the access points frequented by his kith and kin for you, you simply fill the holes with sand and cement and tread on your sniffing fifth columnist.

It's a cruel, cruel world . . .


Jagielka, I'm afraid the use of chemical weapons of mass destruction is anathema to me . . . :no: . . . especially in the kitchen . . .

[Jagielka]

my sniffer ant is now in hiding after his house got attacked and someone spray painted 'grass' on his front door, he is now in the witness protection program.

[StretfordEnd]

The witness protection programme ?

A quick 'treading' would have been kinder, surely ? :cry:

[Saltergate_guy]

send him here i will feed him to the anteater


god i make some business from renting the anteater out

its a great business, it has paid for next year at uni for me

ooh praise the ant eater praise u indeed

[Jagielka]

i have new shoes, dont want them to be stained with the bodily fluids of measly little ants.

[StretfordEnd]

Originally posted by Jagielka
i have new shoes, dont want them to be stained with the bodily fluids of measly little ants.

Understandable mate, but you should have kept your old shoes, they would have been ideal for such unpleasantness . . .

[Jagielka]

:laugh: the buggers took my old shoes and made them into some sort of comune for housing workers after the revolution.
can i ask you, where do you get all these snazzy graphics in your signiture from?

[Saltergate_guy]

that was an awful ant pun wasANT it (god im off to bed if thats the best i can come up with)

im off to count the money the anteater has made me

u 2 shud get a life!! LOL

[LF_SW6]

Seen the size of the ants abroad ? :eek:

[StretfordEnd]

Originally posted by Jagielka

:laugh: the buggers took my old shoes and made them into some sort of comune for housing workers after the revolution.

Sounds to me like they know a soft touch when they see one, if you'd cracked down on them in the beginning you wouldn't be in this mess !

Originally posted by Jagielka


can i ask you, where do you get all these snazzy graphics in your signiture from?

Photoshop Elements mate ~ piece of p*ss !

[Jagielka]

im tellin you them ants of mine were nasty, they were foreign too, russian i belive. mental.

if Photoshop Elements is such a piece of piss how come i dont know what is is or how it works :confused: or am i just thick?





shit! i just answered my own question. :)

[StretfordEnd]

Originally posted by Jagielka

im tellin you them ants of mine were nasty, they were foreign too, russian i belive. mental.

Russian ants eh ? In that case you're on your own mate, I don't want anything to do with them mad bolshevik b*st*rds !

Originally posted by Jagielka


if Photoshop Elements is such a piece of piss how come i dont know what is is or how it works :confused:

Because you haven't downloaded it from Kazaa yet ! It's a Photo editing suite, but quite a good one, just import pictures and fonts, and fanny around with them using hundreds of effects and colour schemes.

Believe me, if I can do it, anyone can do it . . . :eek:

[Jagielka]

well Stalin-ant got rid of one of the main trouble causes Trotsky-ant by gettin somebody to put an icepick in his skull. i managed to identify Stalin-ant very early on thanks to his distinctive moustache.

quality, i might get it, but at the moment i cant use kazza because Christina Aguilera and co are sueing me, and thousands of 12 year old girls for piracy because apparently sharing music around the world is "not good for the future of music"
in other words you have to buy Christina's latest album to be able to confirm it is indeed shite.

do you think you can download ants off kazza?

[James_F]

Have you ever had ants in your pants?

[Marlin]

You're all a bunch of pissants.

Lobsters are much easier to control, and are certainly less prone to reenacting early 20th century revolts.

That said, one of mine has taken to walking strangely, and keeps muttering something about invading Poland...

[K@mpso]

Originally posted by James_F
Have you ever had ants in your pants?

This kind of thing usually happens at family gatherings over the festive period I assume?

I'd certainly not want any of mine in me pants.

Bloody aunts.

[Marlin]

Nothing wrong with keeping it in the family.

Just ask the Lobsters.

[Trev_GFC]

Originally posted by Jagielka
do you think you can download ants off kazza?
Or a sniffer ant for that matter? Will it come through the post? I'd prefer to capture one of the invading ants and train them.:D :clap:

Seriously, someone suggested a spray called Deathlac which kills them when they walk over it. Just make sure that the sniffer ant doesn't walk over it, eh?

[James_F]

Originally posted by Marlin
Nothing wrong with keeping it in the family.

Just ask the Lobsters.

They like a bif of that do they? They'd get on well with people from Whitby.

[StretfordEnd]

Originally posted by Jagielka
In other words you have to buy Christina's latest album to be able to confirm it is indeed shite.


Nah, I haven't bought Christinas new album, or even heard it, but I still know it's sh*te . . .

[Jagielka]

Communist Ants and Facist Lobsters.
is this the same Lobster that formed a Wham tribute band?

[Saltergate_guy]

was adam ant a communist?

[Trev_GFC]

Talking of famous ants, we've forgotten one hero that could save me from the invaders...





ATOM ANT!!

[Jagielka]

no adam ant wasnt a communist, he was a MENTALIST meaning he had a screw loose and had to be put in a padded cell.

and what the hell's "atom ant"? sounds like antoher 3 mile island waiting to happen....

[K@mpso]

Great White could have benefitted greatly from the teachings of Adam Ant...............

Don't drink, don't smoke................. ;)

[Marlin]

...dont't go insane, don't look like a pikey...

[K@mpso]

Stupid boy.................

[Marlin]

That was taken before the alcoholism brought on the inability to appear in photos without either smoking, drinking or making crude gestures...

[K@mpso]

Don't tell him your name Pike................. :laugh: