thurso_doc
5th November 2003, 12:02
you can tell if you're glaswegian if any of the following apply to you
you had a bottle of tonic wine in your hand in any of your wedding photos
you have ever been sacked from a labouring job because of your appearance
you cut your toenails in front of company
your final year school dance had a creche
third year at school is referred to as your "final year"
you dated your fathers current wife at school
your family tree doesn't fork
your mother doesnt remove the woodbine from her mouth when she tells the police to f**k off
your mother has ever been involved in a fight at a school parents evening
your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive
more than one relative is named after a spice girl
you look at a family reunion as a chance to find mr/miss right
someone in your family says"come and see this afore ah flush it"
your wife weighs more than your fridge
you can't marry your girlfriend as there is a law against it
your grandma has ever been asked to leave a bingo hall because of her language
your dog can't watch you eating without gagging
you consider pot noodle sandwiches to be gormet food
you can tell your age by the number of rings on the bath
your toilet has ever had scene of crime tape around it
your dog has a litter of puppies on the living room floor and no one notices
you've ever used lard as a sex aid
you consider a bottle of cider and a fly swat as quality entertainment
you honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises at provocative tounge gestures
your idea of safe sex is a padded headboard
you've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sisters honour
your parrot knows the phrase "whares ma dinner bitch?"
the salvation army declines your mattress
you've ever been kicked out the orange lodge for being a bigot
you have ever chaatted someone up in a std clinic
you wonder how pubs keep their toilets so clean
:clap: :clap: :salute: :clap: :clap:
you had a bottle of tonic wine in your hand in any of your wedding photos
you have ever been sacked from a labouring job because of your appearance
you cut your toenails in front of company
your final year school dance had a creche
third year at school is referred to as your "final year"
you dated your fathers current wife at school
your family tree doesn't fork
your mother doesnt remove the woodbine from her mouth when she tells the police to f**k off
your mother has ever been involved in a fight at a school parents evening
your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive
more than one relative is named after a spice girl
you look at a family reunion as a chance to find mr/miss right
someone in your family says"come and see this afore ah flush it"
your wife weighs more than your fridge
you can't marry your girlfriend as there is a law against it
your grandma has ever been asked to leave a bingo hall because of her language
your dog can't watch you eating without gagging
you consider pot noodle sandwiches to be gormet food
you can tell your age by the number of rings on the bath
your toilet has ever had scene of crime tape around it
your dog has a litter of puppies on the living room floor and no one notices
you've ever used lard as a sex aid
you consider a bottle of cider and a fly swat as quality entertainment
you honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises at provocative tounge gestures
your idea of safe sex is a padded headboard
you've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sisters honour
your parrot knows the phrase "whares ma dinner bitch?"
the salvation army declines your mattress
you've ever been kicked out the orange lodge for being a bigot
you have ever chaatted someone up in a std clinic
you wonder how pubs keep their toilets so clean
:clap: :clap: :salute: :clap: :clap: