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James_F
23rd October 2001, 00:42
Once upon a time, there was a big horse...
super white
23rd October 2001, 00:43
it was brown and lived in a field with several other horses. it's name was....
SID
23rd October 2001, 00:45
HER NAME WAS ANN WIDACOMBE AND SHE SMOKED 20 A DAY
James_F
23rd October 2001, 00:46
Eric. Eric like to eat cheese because...
super white
23rd October 2001, 00:47
eric always thought he should have been a mouse.
eric didnt get on wiv the other horses because.....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 00:49
...he always tried to have sex with them. He had counciling but...
super white
23rd October 2001, 00:51
his counseller was such an attractive horse that......
James_F
23rd October 2001, 00:53
...he just couldnt help himself. He was arrested and put in a...
super white
23rd October 2001, 00:54
horsebox. he was left there without any.....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 00:55
...fishcakes. This upset him because...
SID
23rd October 2001, 00:55
HE ASKED HER OUT FOR A DATE!! ....WHERE SHALL WE GO SHE REPLIED ...LETS GO TO THE....
super white
23rd October 2001, 00:56
when he ate fishcakes he was reminded of the time....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 00:57
...that Horse City won the Horse FA Cup. This was because...
super white
23rd October 2001, 00:58
his favourite player, Horse McPonyson, always
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:01
...scored a overhead horse kick to seel the victory, against...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:03
the team everyone in the country hated - Horsechester United.

So Eric....
Tuphead
23rd October 2001, 01:04
Cow..denbeath, but not this year because........
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:05
...broke out of the horsebox on the hunt for fishcakes. He didnt get very far when...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:06
suddenly a great big....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:07
...purple handbag came out of nowhere. Eric was so scared that he...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:08
accidently stood on the handbags owner - a certain mr....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:09
...ben, who was on his way to the fancy dress shop. Eric felt so guilty that he...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:11
immediately got out his mobile horsephone and ....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:13
...phoned the Fancy dress shop owner, Ian the cat. Ian the cat was far from happy at the loss of business and said...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:14
that eric must rent mr bens costume in place of the dead mr ben. eric was non too pleased about having to dress up as a.....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:15
...big hand. He doesnt like big hands becuase...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:16
he remember the time all too vividly when
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:17
.. a big hand attacked him when he was on holiday in...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:18
tho horse bahamas.

he was holidaying with
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:19
...his great pal harold the mouse. They have been friends for 3 years, when they met at...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:20
samantha the cats hosue party. eric revelaed to harold his deepest secret that.....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:21
..he had a crush on vannesa feltz, since the age of...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:22
just 3. he liked her so much he even.....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:23
...send her his underwear. She replied by saying...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:23
she would send him a pair ofher knickers but they.....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:24
ripped in half. He was so upset that he...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:25
began to stalk fat blonde women with a view to
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:26
buying them big bars of chocolate because...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:27
he had fantasies about puting them
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:28
in women's ears. He liked this because
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:29
it reminded him of when his mother
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:30
...used to put on a private show for him by putting chocolate in her ears. But that wasnt all, she also used to...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:31
dance provacatively and use her teeth to....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:32
rip off his underwear (he hadnt sent it to vanessa yet(yes he only had one pair)) and eat them. He especially like this cos...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:33
it meant he didnt have to wear his underwear for a few days until.....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:34
his mother passed them natuarly. This actually made them extra comfy cos...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:36
it was the closest to a washing they ever got. also - his mother had fairly soft....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:37
arse cheeks. Eric liked them cos he could...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:38
burrow his face in them whenever he felt.....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:39
scared. He used to get scared when his father got home from the horse pub cos he...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:40
sometimes drank a bit too much haylager. when this happened he could get quite....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:41
...friendly. Perhaps too friendly becuase once he tried to...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:42
kiss Eric. This scared Eric coz altho he wanted to be a mouse - he kew he wasn't....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:43
... a gayhorse. After all, he fancied Vannessa and she was a right proper...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:44
minx. in his dreams she was anyway. sometimes eric dreamt that vanessa....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:45
covered herself in salad cream. After all, you can have salad cream with anything, even...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:46
ur sexual partners. Eric sometimes worried tho that Vanessa....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:47
...was actually a lesbian, so therefore wouldnt be interested. If this was true, he had decided he would...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:48
disguise himself as a female horse coz life without Vanessa....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:50
...would not be worth living. To look like a female horse he would go and see...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:51
the vet. the vet didnt like eric much tho because some years ago Eric had called him......
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:52
... a knob-head. This was because eric thought that
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:53
....the vet had a knob on his head. he was sadly mistaken tho because the knob turned out to be....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:54
a carrot. The vet thought eric to be stupid for confusing the 2, so called him a...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:56
...stupid twat. however eric took this as a compliment because...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:57
...he thought that it meant love machine. So eric went to...
super white
23rd October 2001, 01:58
Vanessas official fan club to tell them wot the vet had said about him. however, the manager of vanesas fan club was.....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 01:59
...not 100% convinced. He ask eric to show him his...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:00
...romance stick, which is......
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:02
..his walking stick. He often uses this to...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:02
...poke the fat blonde women he stalks on the off chance...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:03
...that they will pop, and he can use their skin to...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:04
..turn himself into...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:05
a big yellow taxi, so he can...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:06
...get all sorts of lovely ladies...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:07
to play with his nice...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:07
...gearstick. butthen he realised...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:09
...that his clutch was broken, so he couldnt change gear. To overcome this he phoned up...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:10
...the garage next to the fiel he used to live in. they remembered him however and....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:11
...said that they wouldnt help him, even if he...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:12
...let them play with his romance stick. This upset Eric greatly so he turned to...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:14
...the horse god. But even the horse god could not help him cos...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:16
...Eric had never paid attention to the sermons when he was at Horsey Sunday School. Eric decided if God wouldn't help him then he had no choice but to turn to...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:17
the corpse of Mr Ben. He knew that this would help him with his clutch because...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:18
...mr ben had a rather conveniently shaped...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:19
..nose, which could...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:20
...easily subsidise for a clutch. Therefore Eric took....
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:21
...his taxi back on the road. He drove all the way to...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:22
... Scarborough, where he met a rather interesting character called...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:23
...Gary the seagull. Gary the seagull was so fat that...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:24
...no matter how hard he tried he simply could not fly. Eric took pity on Gary and bought him...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:25
a helicopter. Gary took his helicopter for its debut flight but...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:26
...as soon as it was off the ground he realised he had wings instead of fingersand therefore could not...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:27
change direction. So he kept rising until he...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:27
...bumped into the horse god. when the horse god saw him he asked...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:28
,"how did u get here?" Gary replied by saying...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:29
..."A very kind horse by the name of Eric sent me" the horse god laughed at this and immediately sent Gary...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:30
...to Coventry. Gary obeyed, and when he got there he...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:31
...laughed at the pitiful excuse of a football team. but then he realised he had no way...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:33
...stopping his helicopter. He crashed into coventry so hard that the explosion could be heard in...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:35
John o Groats. Luckily - Eric had driven there whilst Gary had been talking to the Horse God so Eric immediately...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:36
started to give gary mouth to mouth, but...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:37
..when he realised he was enjoying it too much he cursed...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:38
, but the horse god heard him cursing, and punished him by...
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:39
...sending vanessa feltz crashing down on top of him. normally thiw ould be a dream come true for Eric, but...
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:41
but sadly, he could take the weight and it killed him. So vannessa came on top of him, but he wasnt alive to see it.
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:43
However Eric lived happily ever after in horsey hell (coz the Horse God wouldn't have him in heaven) running around wiv Luke Chadwick who wa admitted on the basis of his teeth. And he finally realised he was gay after all.
James_F
23rd October 2001, 02:43
The
super white
23rd October 2001, 02:44
End :)
4737 CARLING, SIR
23rd October 2001, 08:36
I'm looking forward to the sequel.
ecfc girl
18th October 2004, 14:50
Brought back from the dead as requested....
James_F
18th October 2004, 14:51
Wahey.

Classic FF moment.
Peel_Acres
18th October 2004, 16:26
:laugh: great story James and Helen, those were the days!
Bam Bam
18th October 2004, 19:48
Wow three years passed and this hadn't been brought back up. Beautiful story James and SW. Can we have another?
James_F
19th October 2004, 03:20
One will be posted in due course.