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Discussion in 'General Off Topic Discussion' started by johnnyT, Jan 5, 2018.
Another man propagating rape culture
A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewellery and money.
The man started sobbing and said, 'You can take anything you want but please untie the rope and let her go.'
Thief: 'You must really love your wife!'
Man: 'Not particularly but she'll be home soon.'
A Jehovahs witness knocked on my door last night I asked him in, sat him down and said, "Right, what do you want to talk about?" He said, "**** knows. I've never got this far before!"
I know a guy called Mohammed who invests in stocks and shares. He's only in it for a profit.
I was watching that advert about wearing your seat belt for safety. So, the first take was the guy was bringing home Pizza. but was involved in a crash and wasn't wearing his seat belt. Pizza flipped up all over the place, Pepperoni everywhere. He dies.
Second take, guy is driving and crashes. Pizza flipped up all over the place, Pepperoni everywhere, but this time he was wearing his. He survived.
The caption asks, "what have you learnt from this advert?"
I was like, get the Pizza delivered!!!
I'll get my coat.
If you could, and don’t come back.
So, a man was kicked out of a Premier Inn for sticking a fire extinguisher up his arse. I know certain people can't deal with a hot curry but that's going too far.
He was also racially abusing the staff members whilst fondling with himself in front of other visitors.
Even Lenny Henry didn't enjoy a Premier Inn that much.
This isn’t even a joke.
Also....why did the first sentence begin with the word 'So' ?
Damn. Tough crowd
Neither was that seat belt bollocks you tried justifying to me yesterday.
Nah, just shit joke.
How do you titillate an ocelot?
You oscillate its tits a lot.
Oh. Apologises for any offence caused. That wasn't my intention.
Shamelessly stolen from Paul Chowdhry. Although I hte the fact that he says pepperami instead of pepperoni
Damn, got me.