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Joke thread

Discussion in 'General Off Topic Discussion' started by johnnyT, Jan 5, 2018.

  1. Leo

    Leo Guest

    Harsh mate...harsh.
     
  2. johnnyT

    johnnyT Registered User

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    Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?

    Acne waits until your a teenager before coming all over your face.
     
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  3. BoroWill

    BoroWill Registered User

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    Remember when you got upset over jokes about Madeleine McCann?
     
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  4. johnnyT

    johnnyT Registered User

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    Yes i do your point is?
     
  5. BoroWill

    BoroWill Registered User

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    Michael Jackson probably ruined her
     
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  6. johnnyT

    johnnyT Registered User

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    He was gay though wasnt he?
     
  7. BoroWill

    BoroWill Registered User

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    Every hole is a goal
     
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  8. Muller

    Muller Fun Bobby

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    What’s the difference between Madeline McCann and The Pope?
     
  9. BleedsIsDead

    BleedsIsDead The Lion of Judah

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    The pope isn’t chained up in my basement with an arse load of cum?



    I mean, I don’t know.
     
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  10. Muller

    Muller Fun Bobby

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    The pope died a virgin.
     
  11. BleedsIsDead

    BleedsIsDead The Lion of Judah

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    Oh. Close.
     
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  12. johnnyT

    johnnyT Registered User

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    I thought catholics were all peados?
     
  13. BoroWill

    BoroWill Registered User

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    I think muller was just talking about his arse virginity
     
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  14. Pagnell

    Pagnell Down About It

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    What do you call a hen looking at a piece of lettuce?

    Chicken caesar salad.
     
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  15. Tornado

    Tornado Registered User

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    :deadhorse
     
  16. BleedsIsDead

    BleedsIsDead The Lion of Judah

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    What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

    Gag
     
  17. JaseTheVillain

    JaseTheVillain Registered User

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    :no:
     
  18. Leo

    Leo Guest

    One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No", said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."
    The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied.
    The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go **** yourself. These are my cookies!"
     
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  19. BleedsIsDead

    BleedsIsDead The Lion of Judah

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    In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15. In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95. In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can buy two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.''

    Those my friends are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.
     
  20. Habbinalan

    Habbinalan Registered User

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    Bob Marley left Jamaica when he discovered there was

    "No Rum and No Pie."

    [​IMG]
     

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