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Gimps XI

Discussion in 'General Off Topic Discussion' started by Ollie, Oct 13, 2013.

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  1. Ollie

    Ollie Registered User

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    Time to bring this FF institution back.

    The previous two that even if you're a noob, you've probably seen in the hall of fame...

    http://www.footballforums.net/forums/showthread.php/73624-Gimps-XI

    http://www.footballforums.net/forums/showthread.php/172837-Gimps-XI

    Don't just nominate someone because you don't like them, we're talking about consistent gimpish behaviour. Everyone is a scout so everyone is picking the team. I'll post a new line up every so often of the posters who have received the most nominations. Here are line ups and matches I will add as we go along...

    22nd October 2013:


    Superyids

    topgunner Redman TerryMalloy kevinp

    CaptainBlade SpursGeorge Jimboheader Perseus

    Rogue AndrewSeagull

    GIMPS XI vs HAX XI

    1 Terrymalloy pulls out a bottle of absinthe he'd been drinking before the match and smashes it over Redman's head killing him instantly. GIMPS XI down to 10.
    4 The first goal mouth action of the match after Baltic plays a one two with AndrewSeagull's forehead, Jimboheader picks the ball up and starts running with it. Penalty! Superyids pulls off a wonder save to stop Fandango's penalty but he scores the rebound. 1-0.
    12 Captainblade brings his own ball onto the pitch, there are now two balls on the pitch for no reason.
    19 Rogue spots the Crystal Palace supporters club on the touchline, they've brought weapons. In an effort to run away from them he takes the ball past every member of HAX XI and scores the equalizer.
    20 Perseus scores a bicycle kick after a majestic cross from SpursGeorge. Perseus kicked himself in the head and the ball went in off his arse, SpursGeorge was trying to hit him. 2-1.
    21 AndrewSeagull scores a header from the half way line. 3-1 already. Thriller.
    22 NH has now conceded 3 goals in 3 minutes, chants of Massimo Taibi can be heard all around the ground. But NH looks happy. The crowd are stunned into silence.
    35 Kevinp starts complaining about the name of the team, everyone swears at him and he starts crying.
    42 NH is found at the side of the pitch with his trousers round his ankles jacking off in front of a sign he's found saying 'Mind the gap'. He is gently ushered away to the lunatic asylum by the stewards. Both teams now down to 10.


    Half Time:
    Chairwoman & S&M addict TLC finally declares her undying love for manager Ollie and they bunk off to the toilets together. Things come to a crashing halt when TLC drops her knickers to reveal a massive penis. Ollie still accepts a BJ in return for her silence.


    49 Furno is laughing. No one knows why.
    50 Captainblade starts another football match on the pitch.
    57 Yala misses an open goal. TEL stops jotting down stats in his notebook and tries to hit him but slips and impales himself on his stats pencil. A fan starts shouting "Bambi on ice!" and "Statto!". TEL tries to karate kick him. Unfortunately the fan was Eric Cantona who retaliates, decapitating TEL in the process. Furno is laughing. HAX XI down to 9.
    64 Ross is heard muttering something about Emile Heskey.
    75 Terry sneaks away to bury Redman's body in the car park leaving a gaping hole in the Gimps XI defence.
    80 MC Smiley takes a break from saying wow to Joey to capitalise and scores a breathtaking volley.
    85 LEF bounces the ball off Andrewseagull's wallhead several times then lays the ball off to Joey who finishes with aplomb then jumps away to star in the next Skippy film.
    88 Fandango is eating a potato, the ball hits his face and goes in. HAX XI are running riot.
    90 Furno is still laughing.
    91 RoyalMike arrives drunk having been up all night and having lost all of his clothes. He is mistaken for a streaker and savaged to death by police dogs. Nobody bothers to turn up to his funeral, instead they go to the pub as it's decided that's what he would have wanted. Apart from topgunner who mistakes it for his own funeral and turns up with his acoustic guitar.


    The ref blows the whistle, final score: Gimps XI 3 - 4 HAX XI.
     
    #1 Ollie, Oct 13, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2013
  2. Ollie

    Ollie Registered User

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    Let's kick things off with Mr Soft...

    http://www.footballforums.net/forums/showthread.php/219525-Slugs-not-good-pets/page2

    http://www.footballforums.net/forums/showthread.php/301633-Squad-v-Montenegro-amp-Poland/page14

    and so on.

    And Gimps X1 hall of famer, superyids for the timing of this thread and ending up being the victim of one of his own wind ups...

    http://www.footballforums.net/forums/showthread.php/301667-AVB-gt-gt-gt-gt-gt-jose-mourinho

    superjinx
     
    #2 Ollie, Oct 13, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 13, 2013
  3. zippy

    zippy The friendly Fascist

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    Been a long time, can't be many of the original line up left around on here.
     
  4. TLC

    TLC FF's OverWench
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    There are 3 former managers still here :)
     
  5. mapperleyred

    mapperleyred Registered User

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    Poor thread.
     
  6. Ollie

    Ollie Registered User

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    Most who made the old line ups have been banned! Zero tolerance these days, gimps used to thrive on FF.

    Noob. :no: You could be one to watch...
     
    #6 Ollie, Oct 13, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 13, 2013
  7. DonnyOsmond

    DonnyOsmond I. R. BABOON

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    Yeah, you'd struggle to put a team together nowadays. People get banned a lot easier, so there's a severe lack of gimps.
     
  8. zippy

    zippy The friendly Fascist

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    Condemned red is still here I think. He was a decent outside left, I mean left outside.
     
  9. Ollie

    Ollie Registered User

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    Obviously superyids! Was Joesthegod banned?

    Yeah I know, still, I think we could get 11. 6yardsout woulda been a good addition = banned. Story of gimp life on FF these days.
     
  10. TLC

    TLC FF's OverWench
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    The mighty Newcastle United
    You'd be on the team holding hands with andrewseagull, hiding from condomdred

    Perseus should be a regular, superyids at least substitute the Liverpool forum is a gold mine of rich pickings as is the Chelsea forum

    Flood this isn't the only place on FF that has some Very 'special' boys :)
     
  11. Ollie

    Ollie Registered User

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    Donny? DENIED.

    Andrew keeps offering people soup... :laugh: I reckon he's a shoe in as no one seems to be taking to him.

    I saw Argo's post about Perseus in the member departures thread, he could easily get in. We actually have the potential makings of a very good team already.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    2nded
     
    #12 Ollie, Oct 13, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 13, 2013
  12. Trent_End_Liam

    Trent_End_Liam Oh mist rolling in ...

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    Redman and TerryMalloy for this;


    Shame the thread has been removed. Comedy gold.
     
  13. Ollie

    Ollie Registered User

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    Yep, prize gimps for agreeing to fight each other. THIS IS THE INTERNET. I 2nd your nomination for these two as well.

    TEL the best gimp scout so far.
     
  14. LEF

    LEF Censored

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    Surely Perseus, the Brighton fan. I don't follow many of his posts but he certainly has a reputation.

    Cartman from League Two is also worth a shout.

    AndrewSeagull? Again, doesn't bother me too much but he is disliked by many.

    Good idea to resurrect the thread btw.
     
  15. Guyett

    Guyett Posts gifs

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    Nominate Ollie for spelling Gimps XI wrong :P
     
  16. Guyett

    Guyett Posts gifs

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    With a forehead the size of Seagulls he has to be in goals or up front
     
  17. TLC

    TLC FF's OverWench
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    Agreed :no:

    Ollie for Striker :)

    X
     
  18. Trent_End_Liam

    Trent_End_Liam Oh mist rolling in ...

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  19. Dan

    Dan Registered User

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