Hitchin Town

A few weeks back, I attended my first Hitchin Town football match, which may not seem like a big deal but believe me- it is when you are a trans woman.

When I went before, I went with my friend and I had a really nice time, I must have enjoyed it because I decided to go again for the match against Telford United, only this time it was on my own.

So, this was another big step in my journey, and even though Hitchin is a very friendly club, it's difficult to put into words how hard it is, because you still don't get a lot of people like me at football.

It was bitter cold as kick off approached, I had time to pop into the bar and get myself a blackcurrant and soda, ( a hot drink would probably have been a better choice).

It was so cold that I purchased myself a scarf from the club shop ( there's no going back now). Because of the weather, I decided that the stand was my best option. It was pretty crowded, and I know that I got a few looks and a few comments were whispered among friends but I expect that. I'm sure, if some spoke to me they would be surprised at the depth of football knowledge that I have.

I made my way to the back of the stand with my drink. By now; what with the weather, my nerves and the cold drink inside me I found myself shaking a bit.

I prayed that I might get someone to talk to, and my prayers were answered when a man stood next to me. I found out that he was a Millwall season ticket holder. ( There were no championship games that day, as England were playing).

The highlight of the first half was the opening goal from a free kick for Hitchin, where the ball cracked the underside of the bar before going in, giving the keeper no chance. Unfortunately Hitchin were unable to hold onto their lead.

The second half followed the same pattern with lot's of hard work and endeavour, but not much in the way of clear cut chances. Telford seemed to me; to be the better ball playing team but I was disappointed in them for a team third in the division, but then that can also be down to Hitchin's fighting spirit.

If anyone was going to snatch a late winner, I thought that It would be Telford - but Hitchin did enough to hold on. As someone who has only been a few times, I would question 'Where are the goals, going to come from ? "

As for me; it was another successful day in my journey and I am sure that it will get easier every time, for me it's about breaking down barriers. Football should be for anyone, and I'm trying to do my bit to help.

I hope that by sharing my thoughts and feelings, it might give an understanding to those who might find what I do a bit odd.

I've always loved football. I wasn't a bad player, I was player of the year for my village team, when I was eleven. Ray Stewart of West Ham and Scotland presented me with my trophy. I used to go to Chelmsford City as a youngster and stand at the Wolsey end, then later on- on the North Bank at Highbury.

I'm still the same person, as I was all them years ago. I just need to express myself differently. I never ever thought that I would go to football as Katie, that was always a dream.

It's been a battle along the way, an inner battle. It's only because of my faith that I am still here. At the end of the day, it's just clothes, a wig and a bit of make up-but in other ways it's so much more than that.
I'm not brave, I'm just doing what I need to do.
Katie Wilson

 

Thank you x