70 days now ,but I struggled badly up in Leicester the other night ,I wasnt driving and the temptation to just get tanked with the lads after such a good win was never faraway ,thankfully I managed to resist ,but is it being selfish of me to expect the lads to respect my abstinence ? I mean they all know the importance of keeping the sniff and the fact they still enjoy a line or two low profile ,but there's no such politeness when it comes to asking me if I want a drink ? I don't expect any of them to ever ask me if I felt like a line of yeyo so why is asking me if I'm drinking tonight viewed as less dangerous ?
No, it isn't selfish. So long as you aren't trying to stop them drinking, it is none of their business what you drink, and if they think it is they need to grow the f*ck up.
Well,I'm safely through the 100 day barrier now and I wasnt sure I'd endure 10 hrs on the first day. This last month I haven't even had the urge which is complete madness given all that is going on.
Well done Redpelt. Honestly, not drinking becomes a habit in my experience. It stops being a choice you make and more something that is made automatically.
Never, ever give up when you relapse. Fighting alcoholism sounds insane when you think about it... especially to people who can handle their booze..... If we wrote down a list of all the things this disease made us do, car accidents, lost jobs, prison, failed marriage, injuries, losing loved ones, hating yourself... if you showed that list to a sober person and said.... "I'm thinking of drinking tonight." They would look at me like my hair was on fire. I felt like I'd rather be in a house that was on fire with vodka in my hand and try to escape, than safe on a beach with water in hand. On Canada Day last week I was walking around with a 12 pack of Soda Water and for a minute my brain was telling me its okay to drink on this of all days. This was 2 weeks after a huge relapse and it felt great to be back. I'll never give up. One day at a time for me. I wont don't drink today. Take care guys. It's a ****ing minefield but we can do it. Stevie did it. https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxyxXorzTRv6lROlNYqHKZI6x1Wd7tLFPP
9th of March to Aug 6th ,that's 150 days dry today ,but these last few weeks I've really struggled. It just seems to be getting gradually more difficult the more days I'm in front of it ,I know it's mad because I should be celebrating reaching 150 days ,but I've got to the point were I'm thinking the next 150 will be nigh on impossible what with the togger kicking off next week and I'm not even sure I want to put myself through another minute let alone pulling in another month the way I'm feeling right now ?
One day at a time bud, well done on your 150 days, do you have people to speak to/numbers you can call?
All of the above mate ,it's just I'm set on following one particular track and until those voices quieten down it would be a thankless task for anyone at the other end of a phone to offer advice. I'm just in one of those moods were the only person to hold sway is me and there's also only me who can deter these feelings until they subside. At this time ,I'm not in any groups so I don't have a sponsor to call. I'm not about to rush out and down a bottle of Aussie White ,I'm just running through it in my head and using this thread to express my sudden disillusion with the concept of maintaining this abstinence ,but thanks for replying mate.
Well done for your 150 days buddy, but you’re right about support, at the end of the day it comes down to you. My Ex went several times for months dry and although she had support she eventually succumbed. The good news is that eventually she succeeded and has been dry for 7 years now. The title of the thread is aptly named, it is a bastard and having watched her and other peoples struggles with it I feel it’s far worse than drug addiction simply because the amount of occasions that you come into contact with it. I’m not sure what your situation is but I think the biggest issue with my Ex was keeping it secret from her friends and even me for 6 years. Once she had opened up about it and her friends were aware of it I think it became easier. Anyway stay strong and all the best in your endeavours.
150 days with everything thats been going on is amazing RP. Your head space now compared to 150 days ago seems much clearer and grounded. Your positivity through the experience with your wife and the cancer treatment is something I am in awe of and I think part of how you've smashed that is because of how far you've come in the 150 days, your relationships with your kids and wife 1 are stronger than they've been in years and they seem healthy for all of you. Before now I think your mental health would have plummeted and your coping mechanisms wouldn't have been so 'solid' for want of a better word. Don't focus on the next 150 days, just the rest of today and make plans for tomorrow - just keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving forwards - it's a marathon not a sprint so just keep moving forward and talking to the people who are there for you (us included) I am in awe of you
