I have now returned from my Download Experience with the ICQ. They asked me a lot of Embarrassing Questions abouy my Lifestyle, like how many People with whom I have shared Intimate Moments and was it Enjoyable, although what this has to do with Software I do not Know. It is probably the Red Tapes which are famous in this Country. I have been given the Number, so I now have two Numbers, one for ICQ and one for Prison so I hope I do not get Confused with all these Numbers Flying Around in my Head. I have Updated my Profile with the Number (ICQ not Prison) and I am waiting to see What Happens. The Prison has Gone Quiet except for a couple of Inmates complaining about Water Torture or Something, I hope I am not given The Water Torture tonight. My fingers and a couple of other Things are Crossed.
<IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> do u get beaten wit a whip? <IMG SRC="smilies/bounce.gif" border="0">
I am Fortunate to have The Whips in my Cell, these are The Whips which I used in my Professional Capacity as a Special Dentist. There is No-one to use The Whips I'm afraid, I mean Thank Heavens!
Great to see the good Doctor has managed to get ICQ now eh Daz - one of the stars of a mighty fine day on this board. I will scour this board for each of this mans posts from now on. <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin2.gif" border="0">
<IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> so funny and yet u r left on the edge of your chair wondering "am i talkin to a man inprison who is put there for a crime which he did or did not commit OR am i talkin to a very inteligent man who is very good at writing!!!! Who ever u r u make me laugh and i look forward to reading your posts! but one more question about your prison cell how come u have a computer in there coz to have a comp unless u have a laptop u need electricity and i thought that electricity wud not be allowed incase u stuck your fingers in the plug sockets to attempt a suicide act? do u have rats? <IMG SRC="smilies/rolleyes.gif" border="0">
Liebchen Footy Queen, I am not your Jeffrey Archer who might damage his Person with the Electrical Supply delivered by The Mains. I have been allowed The Computer on condition that I do not write any Novels on it like Lord Jeff is going to with 'Living Hell In The Belmarsh Prison Buildings'. So the Electrics are Here for The Computer, also a Telephone Line to the Outside World and they will Stay as long as My Nose is kept clean, presumably with one of the Prison Handkerchiefs. There are Rats but I do not worry because my Cat is here as well.
<IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> where theres rats theres water and not ussually clean water at thet!!!!.
I have stressed to the Prison Authorities that I am greatly Concerned with Personal Hygiene, so I have Demanded the Clean Water at all times. I am still worried about the Ritual Of The Slopping Out which is a feature of this Country and I am trying to get this Arrangement changed. The Cat has its own Litter Tray though.
U shud be a writer! <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0">
I think that to be the Writer I will need to improve my usage of the Language In English. I have plenty of Time to do this in My Cell!
This cell Doctor; is it of the padded variety at all??? <IMG SRC="smilies/wink.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/eek.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0"> And I'm surprised they let you have that cat on the premises. Are the others not jealous that you have a pussy in with you?? <IMG SRC="smilies/pimp.gif" border="0">
Do u have a window dr? I hope u do coz then u can have nice fresh air! have u ever tried to escape dr? <IMG SRC="smilies/confused.gif" border="0">
Liebchen FQ, yes I have the Window, with the Bars of course. It overlooks out onto the Yard Of Exercises where the prisoners perambulate for 'stretching the legs'. I am not Exercising myself today because I have a lot of Work to do.
Well i hopre u have a gr8 time in your cell and that u have good exercise and make sure u look after your cat and u keep digging your hole <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/bounce.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/laugh.gif" border="0">
FQ my Liebchen, you give advice which is good. I must Dig now and also Feed the Cat. Schadenfreude going Offline very quickly now I think, to get On with All This.
so tell me dr when u r back on line, what do u feed your cat and is it black? <IMG SRC="smilies/chainsaw.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/jester.gif" border="0">
Hello Mr. Goosehunter. How are the Gooses today? The Cat is Tortoiseshell & White and She eats Go-Cat, available in Sachets from all Good Supermarkets. Her favourite Flavour is Tuna, Cod & Carrots to see in the Dark with.
Good Morning Mr. Kampso on the first day of your Holidays. I hope your Mother-In-Law is in Fine Fettle today also. Regrettably I have no Pads in My Cell. This is not a Five Star Prison with all the Modern Conveniences you know! To be Honest, I am not happy with the Bunk I have to sleep on. It is too uncomfortable without the Interior Springs in the Mattress of it. This is also a Problem for the Cat who is in a Mood today because She cannot go out. The Cat is a Secret from the other Prisoners, and this means that I, Dr. Schadenfreude, Master Criminal (Innocent But Caught Due To Bad Luck) has to Slop Out for the Cat as well! I must go now to work on my Proposals for Changed Lavatorial Requirements which I must submit to The Governor by 2 o'clock. There is always so much to do here when you are New!
