An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. 'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds. When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs! 'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?' The Irishman nodded...' I'll tell you though, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.' 'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor. 'No, from the f****** skippin'
Stereophonics have announced they are playing at Old Trafford in December. Might have a £10 on them to win.
A man walked into a pub with what looked like his dog on a lead with a ginormous mouth, he walked up to the bar and said to the barman "A pint, please, and a steak pie for my dog". The barman complied with his order, the guy drank his pint and chucked the steak pie to his dog who ate it in one snap of his mouth, the barman jumped backwards gobsmacked, the guy then said "The same again, please..." The barman gave the guy his pint and a steak pie for his dog and moved backwards as the dog ate the steak pie with one snap of his mouth that scared the s**** out of the barman. This went on for about 5 minutes until the barman had had enough and said "What kind of bloody dog is that?" The guy said "It was a crocodile until I cut its tail off..."
You may enjoy, you may not. After the last joke, it can't be any worse. Ten Formal Complaints in six months Have you done your timesheets?
